I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
