yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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