You're my little dorito
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
