im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize