I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
