Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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