the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize