community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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