I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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