we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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