Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
