I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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