is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
