My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize