I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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