so explain again why im purple
no
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
