used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
