Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am puke
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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