Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
