the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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