Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
