Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
