It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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