So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
