So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
