It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
