He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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