Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
