they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
