nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
