i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She needs sedatives and a leash
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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