like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So many bounce houses so little time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
