I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
