i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize