my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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