I showed him my bush... on skype.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
