I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
