the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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