By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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