what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
