Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I CAN MOONWALK!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
