Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
