that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
