On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
