So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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