so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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