She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
