Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
