Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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