I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize