this boner is exhausting
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
