i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
