So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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