Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
