What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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