1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
