some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
