Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
