somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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