she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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