I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
